Valentine’s Day is Friday, February 14th. If you already have a Valentine, you may be a recipient of one of over 190 million Valentine’s Day cards or 50 million e-cards sent each year. Or perhaps you will receive a dozen of the 224 million roses grown just for Valentine’s Day. Yes, expressing love on Valentine’s Day is a major source of economic activity, with total expenditures in 2017 topping $18.2 billion or over $136 per person. If, however, Valentine’s Day evokes a different reaction, and you identify with the Lonely-Hearts Club, you are not alone. According to U.S. Health Resources & Services Administration (HRSA) there’s an “epidemic” of loneliness in the U.S. and it’s taking a mounting toll on public health. You are probably asking yourself that with Facebook, Instagram, video calling and all the technological innovations for connection, how can we be disconnected or lonely? Unfortunately, these virtual opportunities may create a junk connection through junk values, like how many likes we get or how many “friends” we have. Meaningful connection is linked to our very survival. Our ancestors formed tribes to hunt, protect ourselves from the elements, survive attacks from prey and create families insuring our survival as a species. The 2010 census data indicates more of us are living alone, marriages are down, and we are having fewer children. As humans, we need community and physical presence for our brains to register connection. Why is this a health issue? Research shows that your brain associates being alone or lacking social connection as a threat and temporarily increases inflammation. Our brains haven’t had time to adapt and evolve to the new ways. As loneliness continues, we are at greater risk of long-term inflammation. Long term inflammation is linked to impairment of the immune system and increased susceptibility to heart disease, insulin resistance and even Alzheimer’s. Modern day loneliness is defined as the gap between what you want your relationships to be and what they currently are. It is not just being alone. The divorce rate is over 50% and even higher for subsequent marriages. Being in a relationship does not prevent loneliness. Loneliness is a habit.

9 ways to break the habit of loneliness and isolation: • Look at patterns that create your feelings of loneliness and change • Practice self-compassion by limiting negative self-talk • Get out of your comfort zone; put yourself in one new social situation • In public situations, turn off your phone and make eye contact or smile • Create connection. Be kind to everyone you meet (think Mr. Rogers). • Instead of sharing emotions through a virtual connection, call a friend (don’t text) and make a date to share. • Connect with your “tribe.” Set aside one hour a week to meet in-person. • Create a new tribe. (think Meetup) • Nourish the relationships you have with honest, non-blaming and vulnerable communications • Be curious. Discover your feelings and beliefs about relationships and how you “believe” they “should” look.

 

This article is designed to inform and entertain NOT provide medical or mental health advice. You should always consult your physician when it comes to personal health or before starting any self-directed or new treatment. source: https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2019/08/03/the-loneliness-epidemic.aspx

 

Sharon Hathaway is a certified health and life coach. “I want to provide a safe, supportive space for you to take curated information and transform it into lasting Habit Healing Transformations.” For more information or to schedule an Individual Discover Session or group event visit: habithealingtransformations.com or email [email protected].